Canadian Grand Prix

Wow!

What a race! Qualifying started it all off when for the first time this season, a Red Bull car was not on pole position. Instead the McLaren of Lewis Hamilton took the front spot off Mark Webber by two tenths of a second. On row two was Sebastian Vettel and the resurgent Ferrari of Fernando Alonso. Behind them was Hamilton teammate Jenson Button and Force India's Vitantonio Liuzzi. Ferrari's Felipe Massa and Renault's Robert Kubica were on row four. The top ten was filled out by Liuzzi's teammate Adrian Sutil and Mercedes' Nico Rosberg. The notable absence from the top ten was the seven time world Champion Michael Schumacher who qualified 13th behind the two Williams cars of Rubens Barrichello and Nico Hülkenberg.

Turkey was a 4 horse race. Canada was a 5 horse race at the end but the beginning was chaos. Back markers getting in the way, Drive through penalties been issued, multiple pit stops called, tyre changes, the Toro Rosso of Sebastien Buemi leading the race. When it all settled down it was a fight between the McLarens, the Red Bulls and the Ferrari of Fernando Alonso. Even then there was the problem of back markers like Karun Chandhok's Hispania and Jarno Trulli's Lotus. The victim of these two was Fernando Alonso. Lewis Hamilton took the lead off Alonso going around Chandhok while Jenson Button beat him going past Trulli. The Red Bull's tyre choices saw them slip back from Alonso who was slipping back from the McLaren's especially Hamilton. As you might be able to tell by the picture, it was a McLaren one-two

So Lewis Hamilton won, Jenson Button was second. Ferrari found new signs of life after Alonso finsihed 3rd. The Red Bull's domination is now contention only after a Webber leading Vettel to a four-five. Nico Rosberg continued Mercedes' above average performance with a 6th place ahead of Renault's Robert Kubica who happened to be the last finisher who wasn't lapped. Sebastien Buemi finished a solid 8th continuing to keep Toro Rosso moving. Finally the Force Indias of Vitantonio Liuzzi and Adrian Sutil beat Michael Schumacher for 9th and 10th. Our next stop is Valencia for the European Grand Prix

Turkish Grand Prix

Red Bull's fortunes weren't the same in Turkey as they were in Monaco.

In Qualifying Red Bull took another pole position, or more accuratly Mark Webber did. However this time there was a twist. A twist in the form of 2 silver cars. Lewis Hamilton split the two Red Bulls with Jenson Button behind Sebastian Vettel. The other 2 silver cars of Michael Schumacher and Nico Rosberg filled up row 3. Felipe Massa split the Renault's of Robert Kubica and Vitaly Petrov while Sauber's Kamui Kobayashi rounded off the top ten.

Observers among you will notice that Fernando Alonso's name isn't among them. He struggled during qualifying and ended up behind Adrian Sutil in P12. Force India's other driver Vitantonio Liuzzi was back in P18 also due to poor showing. It wasn't all doom and gloom though, the recently Uncool Hispania team qualifyed ahead of another team on their own merits when Bruno Senna beat Lucas di Grassi for P22.

From the off the race was a four horse race. The Red Bulls pulled away as they usually do but this time the McLaren's kept with them. Hamilton kept edging closer to Vettel until a tactical screw up by McLaren. A poor choice of pit stop time saw Hamilton rejoin behind the second Red Bull of Sebastian Vettel. Behind them, everyone else was bunching up behind Michael Schumacher. The focus was on the front 4. Things were going Red Bull's way until lap 40. Sebastian Vettel decidedto have a go at overtaking Mark Webber and well the picture explains it all. Vettel's race was finished. Webber's car was damaged and had to pit. This handed the lead to Lewis Hamilton. A couple of laps later after Webber had rejoined in 3rd place, it was McLaren's time to crap their pants. Nicole Scherzinger, girlfriend of Lewis Hamilton nearly had a heart attack when Jenson Button attempted a similar move. Jenson got ahead but Hamilton kept his cool and retook the positin bringing the McLaren cars too close together. Needless to say, things calmed down after that.

Lewis Hamilton lead a McLaren one-two while Webber salvaged a 3rd place. Schumacher lead a Mercedes 4-5 ahead of Renault's Robert Kubica. Felipe Massa lead a Ferrari 7-8 with Force India's Adrian Sutil and Sauber's Kamui Kobayashi finishing the top ten.

To make Red Bull's Weekend worse Sebastian Vettel dumped "Luscious Liz" and got into his new car "Randy Mandy".

Monaco Grand Prix

As you may be able to tell from the picture, Red Bull had a good race.

Once again Mark Webber lead from start to finish followed by his teammate Sebastian Vettel to secure a Red Bull one-two, and further demonstrate Red Bull's dominance.

The whole story of the race started on Saturday with Free Practice 3. Fernando Alonso crashed his car and damaged it beyond repair. This caused him to sit out qualifying and he started from the pit lane. The qualifyer who looked consistantly strong was Renault's Robert Kubica, but in typical Red Bull fashion he was robbed of Pole Position in the last seconds by Mark Webber. Sebastian Vettel and Felipe Massa lined up behind them which was a bit of a downer on Massa as both Webber and Kubica have both been linked with his seat. Britain's own Lewis Hamilton and his German counterpart Nico Rosberg were on the 3rd row. Behind them were their teammates with Michael Schumacher taking 7th and Jenson Button was 8th. The top ten was finished up with Williams' Rubens Barrichello taking 9th and Force India's Vitantonio Liuzzi.

Moving onto the race. Monaco is know for it's demanding track and retirements are almost a certainty. When I say that half of the racers retired, I'm not exaggerating. 12 out of 24 drivers made it to the finish line. The most notable retiree was the defending World Champion Jenson Button. An amateur mistake by his McLaren team saw his engine overheat and stop. The big one though was Jarno Trulli crashing with Karun Chandhok. Trulli's Lotus landed on top of Chandhok's Hispania and nearly on top of Chandhok himself. Fortunatley both drivers walked away unharmed. Joining Jenson Button (Lap 2), Jarno Trulli and Karun Chandhok (both Lap 70) as retirees were Nico Hülkenberg (Lap 1), Pedro de la Rosa (Lap 21), Timo Glock (Lap 22), Lucas di Grassi (Lap 25), Kamui Kobayashi (Lap 26), Rubens Barrichello (Lap 30), Bruno Senna (Lap 58), Heikki Kovalienen (Lap 58), and Vitaly Petrov (Lap 73).

The man of the race was clearly Mark Webber. Him aside that honour goes to Fernando Alonso who started from the pit lane and finishing 6th. He kept climbing up the field using his superior Ferrari to simply pass the Hispanias, Lotuses (Loti?) and Virgins. The Monaco Grand Prix is often precessional as it is a narrow track with very few opportunities for overtaking.So the top ten finished as so: 1st place went to Mark Webber and his teammate finished behind him in 2nd. The 3rd podium spot was taken by Robert Kubica. Lewis Hamilton was in a Ferrari sandwich. Massa took 4th, Hamilton 5th and Alonso 6th. Nico Rosberg, Adrian Sutil, Vitantonio Liuzzi and Sebastien Buemi finished off the top ten.

The story of the race was actually an incident which happened on the last lap. The race ended under the safety car and on the last lap, the safety car went into the pits, as it does. When the safety car pulled in Michael Schumacher took advantage of a mistake from Alonso and overtook him. This raised debate as many were under the assumption that the race was finished because the safety car was out on the final lap. After a long debate the move was deemed illegal and Michael Schumacher was given a 12 second penalty. This demoted him to 12th place. The FIA has since revised its safety car rule.

So that is the story of the Monaco Grand Prix. I should also add that Mark Webber is now performing better than his Seriously Uncool teammate and has won the Monaco Grand Prix. This has made him jump from Uncool to Sub-Zero

Spanish Grand Prix

Firstly, I wish to do some teenage complaining. My parents have become Seriously Uncool due to nagging.

Qualifying for the Spanish Grand Prix continued the theme of Red Bull on pole. For this Grand Prix Red Bull locked out the front row. Another intresting fact was 3rd through 6th was taken by the world champions on the grid. Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso took up the second row while Jenson Button and Michael Schumacher lined up behind them. Kubica, Rosberg, Massa and Kobayashi finished off the top ten.

The race wasn't the most entertaining race. The Circuit de Catalunya is a very demanding circuit with few opportunities for overtaking. Mark Webber lead from start to finish and easily brought 25 points to Red Bull and put himself back into the title race. His teammate had a familiar scenario of nursing the car home and picked up a lucky 3rd.McLaren had a good race for one of their drivers, Jenson Button finished in a solid 5th place. Lewis Hamilton ended up dissapointed as he was on course for 2nd but got a puncture on the penultimate lap and ended up retiring. To make matters worse for Lewis the person who did take second place was his bitter rival Fernando Alonso. Alonso's teammate didn't do as well 6th place was all he could manage and questions have been raised about him. Robert Kubica who finished 8th has been linked with his seat for next season. It is known that Kubica is admired by Ferrari and he is good friends with Alonso.

The new teams didn't have the best weekend. Lotus' Heikki Kovalainen did not start while his teammate Jarno Trulli finished 17th. Virgin had both cars make it to the finish line, Timo Glock in 18th and Lucas di Grassi 19th. Hispania had worse luck as drivers Karun Chandhok and Bruno Senna both retired.

So that's what happened in Spain. Next week we are heading to Monte Carlo for probably the most famous Grand Prix.

Cool Wall Update.

A quick update on the cool wall. We are heading to Mercedes. Not the team, but it's drivers.

After Three time world champion Jackie Stewart said Nico Rosberg has extraordinary talent. This along with his father being a world champion and him not being a Formula 1 failure make Nico Rosberg Cool. For his teammate the news isn't so good. Jackie Stewart also said Michael Schumacher was incapable of driving a difficult car. While some may disagree, I cannot ignore the words of Britain's most successful Formula One driver. Michael Schumacher has gone from Sub-Zero to Cool. He is not uncool yet.

So The Cool Wall for the drivers.

Jenson Button: Well he is the reigning world champion. He is British. He is dating a model. He is proving his doubters wrong. We all thought Lewis Hamilton would be better than JB but we're wrong. Jenson Button is without a doubt Sub-Zero.

Lewis Hamilton: He is a known rule-breaker. He drives aggressively. He dates the only pussycat doll people have heard of. He is the youngest person ever to win the F1 championship. He has been labeled a dickhead. He has the support of Damon Hill. He out drove the F1 champion in his rookie season. On the flip side Bernie Eccelstone is a fan. Despite this Lewis Hamilton is Sub-Zero.

Michael Schumacher: 1994. 1995, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004. Count them. Michael Schumacher is Sub-Zero.

Nico Rosberg: He looks like the typical pretty boy. As soon as he goes home I bet he sorts out his hair. Sorry Nico you are Uncool.

Sebastian Vettel: Well he has been on pole 3/4 times. He won the race where he was not on pole. That's bad. It gets worse. Sebastian Vettel calls his car "Luscious Liz". This makes Sebastian Vettel Seriously Uncool.

Mark Webber: He is performing worse than his seriously uncool teammate. Mark is a great guy but for now he is Uncool.

Felipe Massa: He is back after a head injury and he lead the championship after race 3. I think it's tough to argue. Felipe Massa is Cool.

Fernando Alonso: A two time world champion, a race winner this season. How can he not be cool? Simple, he is a cock. He left McLaren because Lewis Hamilton was faster. He pushed ahead of Massa in the pit lane in the last race. Ferrari have said they have nothing to do with that. We have the F1 cock. Fernando Alonso is Seriously Uncool.

Rubens Barrichello: He is just so likable. He's been around for a long time and deserves a good spot on the cool wall after the luck he's had. Rubens Barrichello is Cool.

Nico Hülkenberg: Nico who? Exactly. The reigning GP2 champion has no points so far and he should get some. End of. Nico Hülkenberg is Uncool.

Robert Kubica: He is outperforming his Renault. He is challenging for the world championship. He is however friends with Fernando Alonso. That makes Uncool.

Vitaly Petrov: He is Russian. He isn't afraid of the big boys. He has the support of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. He has achieved a points finish in his 4th race. He is actually Sub-Zero.

Adrian Sutil: He drives for Force India. Despite being Lewis Hamilton's best friend he is Uncool.

Vitantnio Liuzzi: He drives for Force India. That's that. Liuzzi is Uncool.

Sebastien Buemi: He beat his team mate last year and is now getting a taste of his own medicine. Buemi is Seriously Uncool.

Jaime Alguersuari: Jaime is the guy who is giving Sebastien Buemi a taste of his own medicine. Jaime Alguersuari is Sub-Zero.

Jarno Trulli: This has has been around in F1 for way too long and done way too little. Now he's complaining about his car. Shut up and get Racing. Jarno is Seriously Uncool.

Heikki Kovalaienen: He is making the most of his Lotus team. After stuggles with McLaren the pressure is off and he is doing quite well. I have therefor decided to label Hekki as a Cool driver.

Karun Chandhok: Don't ask me to explain it. I don't get why but I just think this guy is cool. I just don't get it. Karun Chandhok is Cool.

Bruno Senna: Thanks to his last name he is cool. This however comes under the condition that he produces results. I do not want to see another Nelson Piquet Jr. If I do, Bruno will be the most uncool driver on the grid. For now though, Bruno Senna is Cool.

Pedro de la Rosa: I'm in two minds. He is receiving stick from his boss, but I think it is unjust. I'm putting his fate in the hands of his next performance. For now he is Uncool.

Kamui Kobayashi: He is failing to live up to his hype. That is annoying and certainly not cool. Kamui Kobayashi is Seriously Uncool.

Timo Glock: He is being outperformed by his rookie team mate. His decision to join Virgin was admiralble but not cool. Timo Glock is Uncool.

Lucas di Grassi: He is beating his team mate. He is Brazillian. He is a rookie. He is Cool.

The Cool Wall

This is my way of apologizing for the long wait for the last entry. It is for the first time on this blog, time for my very own Cool Wall, Top Gear style. For those of you that don't know the cool wall, it is divided into four categories. Seriously Uncool, Uncool, Cool, and Sub-Zero.

I have looked at all the drivers and teams and decided which ones I think are cool. So here we go.

Firstly the teams:

McLaren: McLaren are known rule breakers, have an all British line up and they're British drivers are the two most recent World Champions. They were also found guilty of spying on Ferrari. I don't think anyone can argue. McLaren are Sub-Zero.

Mercedes: Mercedes are driving two German drivers under the guidence of Ross Brawn. One of those drivers is seven time world champion Michael Schumacher. That alone makes this team Sub-Zero.

Red Bull: A team owned by the most famous energy drink in the world and my personal favourite. However they are underpeforming. This causes them to be Cool rather than Sub-Zero.

Ferrari: The Prancing Horse. The most famous team in Formula one. The biggest rivals of the FIA. How could they not be Sub-Zero? Well the answer is simple. Fernando Alonso. He alone makes this team Seriously Uncool.

Williams: The poor man's McLaren. A team that hasn't won anything for years. They also run the FIA favourite Cosworth engine. There's nothing cool about them. They are Seriously Uncool.

Renault: Is this really a Renault team? Renaul own 25% of the team. The other 75% i owned by Gerad Lopez and his Genii Capital from Luxembourg. The car works so they're only Uncool.

Force India: They are basically McLaren in different colours. The team has been called "McLaren Lite". That is Uncool

Toro Rosso: The easiest one on the list I think. Toro Rosso are Red Bull's JUNIOR team. That is Seriously Uncool

Lotus: Oh God. Lotus are pretending they are the same team Colin Chapman made. They aren't. They are using the Cosworth engine. FIA favourite. If that isn't uncool enough, they are sponsored by CNN. Case closed, Lotus are without a doubt Seriously Uncool

Hispania: The team came very close to being uncool but I can't ignore the name of they're young driver. Bruno SENNA. That makes this team Cool

Sauber: Underachieving in races and one of their drivers has not yet finished a race. This team is therefore Seriously Uncool

Virgin: Finally Richard Branson's team. It has all the cool about it that anytime could possibly need. The only way the could screw this up, it to make complete arses of themselves. Oh wait, their fuel tank in too small. This team is therefore Seriously Uncool.

Drivers will be up later today.